Maintenance

I have done my research. After "reading"every Playmate of the Month's turn-ons, I discovered only 1 mentions "baby yetis".

Based on these statistics, I made the decision to tend my forest twice a week. If any Playmates read this please let me know that I am not wasting 10 hours a week. Thank you.

-Kyle "Cheeky Monkey"

Planning a Meal

I have become the MacGyver of recipies. A jar of pickles, a stick of butter, guacamole mix, and a packet of hickory smoked tuna... dinner for one!

Honestly, the best advice I can give anyone with limited grocery money, make soup. You can never go wrong with soup. Ever. Never ever. Eight cans of vegetables and 2 bullion cubes can feed you for days.

-Kyle "Brigadoon"

Getting Some Work Done

Behold the misery of unsuccessful job-hunting. Even if you find something, there's a bajillion (real number) other people applying.

I hear this small rumor that the economy isn't doing as well as it used to. Have you heard this? That's crazy! I just thought I was under-qualified to work at Target and that's why I didn't hear back from them.

But on a serious note folks, this picture sums up how it feels at the end of the day, plus some drool or tears.

- Kyle "El Chalupa"

Saving Grocery Money

Before you judge me, hear me out. If I eat like a dog, maybe I will gain some of their powers. See list below.

1.) Ability to lick myself
2.) Ability to make people pick up my poo
3.) Ability to sleep all day and not feel guilty about it
4.) Ability to hump anything and not feel guilty about it

I could go on, but I have done a good job keeping these posts short, concise, and somewhat humorous. I would like to keep it that way.

- Kyle "Jumanji"

My Beloved

This is not my most clever idea, but look at the sweet photoediting job... her luscious red lips. So pouty. So smooth. So soft. So red. So creepy.

-Kyle "The Swordfish"

Checking Finances

Why should I trust the financial institutions of America when I have a safe and secure coffee (espresso roast) can? There may be no interest earned, but I purposely forgot to clean it so every time I check my finances or make a withdrawal I get rewarded with the glorious scent of coffee. I would take that over 'free' money any day.

-Kyle "Kangaroo Jack"

Exercising

I would like to direct your attention to the motion blurs that were once my hands. That is some intense calorie burning. Just out of frame is a large water bottle and a sopping wet sweat rag, I swear.

This is my Monday session, which entails 30 minutes of Lego Indiana Jones, 30 minutes of Ghostbusters, and a cool down session of Super Mario Bros. Wii. My personal favorite workout is Friday. 45 minutes of Beatles Rockband, 20 minutes of Mario Kart, and as much Call of Duty as I can handle.

I am very disciplined.

-Kyle "Peanut Butter and Fluff"